


Fall from Faith

by RainFox88



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Complicated Relationships, Conditioning, Developing Relationship, Disturbing Themes, Drama & Romance, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Language, Manipulation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Consensual Touching, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Pre-Canon, Pregnancy, Sex, Sexual Tension, Tragedy, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29937558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainFox88/pseuds/RainFox88
Summary: There was a time her name was Selena, but Faith could hardly remember that life. There was a time his project had her unwavering commitment, and he had her undying devotion, but that all changed after she saw what happened to Lana, the Faith before her, after the newcomer Rachel came into the picture. Faith had lost her faith, and she was trapped between three very different monsters that she called her brothers. And one of them held the key to her chains. She couldn’t share her predecessor’s fate. And so she had to pretend, until maybe one day, she could escape.
Relationships: Faith Seed/Joseph Seed, Joseph Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Fall from Faith

### Chapter 1

She paused, inhaled, the scent of rain on the morning wind bringing a smile to her lips. It was a nice change from the sweet scent of the sacred daturas around the Convent, marked off in small plantations. 

Some of her fellow brothers and sisters must’ve caught the scent too, looking to the sky, dark clouds rolling into the Henbane River region from the valley. They still had a few hours before it would be on top of them. Until then, there was plenty left to do.

“Sister Faith, Sister Faith!”

Excited urgency, squeaky voice. That was Abby, probably followed by her younger sister Katie who was much...quieter.

Faith sat the curled-up hoses she was carrying on a nearby crate. There were plenty of Project members at Eden’s Convent to do the work for her, but she found it helped with morale if she walked and worked among them. She needed to take a break from her more important “duties” anyway.

The girls were eight and five, dressed in simple clothes that were a little dirty from them playing. Faith mirrored their gleeful smiles until she noticed the biggest frog she’d ever seen in Abby’s muddy hands.

“O-Oh my goodness, Abby!” she retreated a few steps, the big, black eyes staring right at her as it voiced a displeased croak.

“Isn’t he cute?!”

Faith forced a smile, not at all hating the slimy creature, but preferring it to keep its distance. In the back of her hazy, shadowed memories, she thinks she would have told Abby that this was “unladylike”, but she didn’t really register that thought before it disappeared.

She sighed. “I told you girls to stay out of the pond. What if there were snakes? What if one of you fell in? Where’s Glenda anyway?”

“She and Rachel swapped,” Abby explained through exasperated breaths, holding the bullfrog steady. “Rachel let us play in the pond, she was there watching us! She said I could show you.”

“We named him Bubble,” Katie said quietly. “He was makin’ bubbles in da water!”

Faith caught sight of Rachel as she approached, having walked from the pond, also a little dirty, but with the same joy on her face. “I’m sorry, Sister. The girls just needed a moment of fun. And they were just so excited to show you Bubble.”

She wasn’t mad, there were just...more important chores to do at the moment. Still, Faith was envious of their childlike delight, even Rachel’s.

Rachel Jessop had been with the Project for four years now. Faith remembered the day she was brought into the flock, like a beat-up stray that the Father just had to have. Had to mend...had to mold. She had been a sad little thing, abused, high on drugs, ostracized from her community, her home, and her friends.

The first year was hell with her. They had to keep her drugged on scopolamine to help with the drug withdrawals. Her emotions were everywhere. She was scared, meek, and hated herself, wallowing in self-pity. All the things Joseph loved so he could easily bend them to him.

And it showed today. She was cheerful, much more playful and bold, she was clean, healthy. All it cost her was something she hasn’t had to give out yet. But the day would come.

Was she still jealous? Faith contemplated. No, she stopped being jealous a long time ago. She liked Rachel, adored her really. She was one of the only true friends she had here now. But Joseph had always had a soft spot for Rachel, and it had recently grown into a strange obsession. If she thought really hard about it, it wasn’t much different from when Faith herself had first arrived at the Project.

They looked similar. Both blonde hair, although Faith’s was a bit lighter and longer. Rachel was a little shorter, a little skinnier, though not by much. But Faith had blue eyes compared to Rachel’s green.

Bubble wriggled free and leapt from Abby’s grimy hands, nearly hitting Faith’s legs as he landed and hopped away in a hurry.

“Bubble!” the girls cried.

“Oh, I got him!” Rachel started after him, but Faith snatched her arm.

“Leave it. He’ll find his way back to the pond.” She turned to the girls. “Now, please find Glenda and get cleaned up, okay girls?”

Their shoulders drooped in disappointment. “Yes, Sister Faith,” they mumbled and trudged for the main building.

“We have too much work to get done before the rain to be playing in the mud.”

Rachel pulled her arm free, watching the girls’ retreating backs. “It was just for a moment, Faith. They’ve been so down lately.”

“We’re all tired. There’ll be plenty of time for fun later.”

Rachel lowered her eyes. “Of course. I-I’m sorry.”

Faith smoothed her white dress down her thighs. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually this uptight, I just…”

“Oh no, I understand. You’ve been under a lot of pressure. Is there anything else I can assist you with? You know I’m always happy to help.”

The Sister withheld a wry smile. So obedient, so eager to please. No wonder the Father wanted her around more often now.

“Sure, Rach. Want to help me set up the new sprinkler system for the west side plantation?”

“Of course! Let’s do it!”

They each grabbed a hose and went over to the small plantation furthest from the Convent. With the two of them, it didn’t take but a couple of hours to set it up to water the sacred daturas. They talked casually as they did so. Rachel was one of the very few that Faith could let down her guard. But at the same time, it was quite complicated. Friends, but also sisters through the Project, and Faith as Rachel’s authoritarian and caretaker.

“What’s with all the datura flowers plantations popping up? Shouldn’t we be doing more farming for crops?” Rachel asked.

“We’re trying to make a new variant of the Bliss. It requires more flowers. It hasn’t been very successful though. We just do not have the right equipment and land for it currently.”

“Oh. No wonder you’ve been stressed. Ya know, my uncle owns a great piece of land he has always talked about willing to me...that was before he cut ties with my dad and me, of course. Guess I don’t really blame him if that’s out the window.” She frowned. “But if I had it, I would give it to the Project in a heartbeat.”

She was talking about the old Jessop Conservatory. It was a nice piece of property, with buildings and equipment perfect for the Project and their research. Unknown to the poor girl, John had already tried taking the land right out from under her uncle. It would only be a matter of time before her “brother” would rip it from him, once the right opportunity found its way into his lap, and into that scheming brain of his.

She had mentioned it in passing on a conversation a couple years ago to Faith. She knew it was her uncle’s, but she never knew it had been meant to be willed to her.

“Don’t worry about what you can give, Rachel. You’re giving plenty. It’ll work itself out,” Faith assured.

“Thank you. I hope so. I just want to give whatever I can to return all of the kindness and acceptance I’ve been shown here.”

Faith inwardly scowled, thinking of Joseph. _Don’t worry, sweetheart. Your time’s coming._

And what did that mean for her, exactly?

They weren’t even finished a minute before Rachel sprayed Faith with a hose. Faith squeaked in surprise from the cold shower. Rachel giggled but it didn’t last long before the Sister got her own hose and retaliated.

“Holy moly, that’s cold!”

Faith laughed. “Yeah, it is!”

A sharp whistle stopped them short. Faith froze, panic in her chest as she evaluated the whistle’s timbre. It took her brain a split second to recognize it, and soon relaxed. _Not John_. Their whistles sounded so similar sometimes.

Rachel dropped her hose first, startled, afraid she would be reprimanded, but Faith smiled and turned. Jacob tapped his foot with arms crossed, scowling.

It was enough to scare anyone else. Just not her. She was much more afraid of Joseph, of John. Everyone was afraid of Jacob, from his looks, from the atmosphere he carried around him. But they didn’t know him like she knew him. They didn’t know Joseph or John like she knew them either.

“Can you gather up the gardening stuff?” she asked Rachel.

She nodded quietly and went to work.

Faith bounded over to the oldest Seed brother. “Hello there, Brother. What brings you all this way?”

“Errands, I guess,” he said, glancing over her dress that bared the evidence of her water fight with Rachel. “Havin’ fun, I see.”

“Oh, it’s been one of those days.”

A deep croak erupted between them and they looked down. Bubble blinked one eye, vocal sac flexing under his chin. Jacob’s brows furrowed and he lifted a boot. Not to squish the frog, but bump it. Bubble hopped away, barking unpleasantly.

“Obviously.”

Faith blushed, brushing her hair with her fingers. “Is everything okay? Do you need me for anything?”

“Just here to pick up another container of Bliss. Doing some of my own experimentations. You gettin’ any headway on makin’ it more potent?”

She shook her head. “No...still working on it. I have a team at the Sacred Skies Youth Camp that should be giving me some results in a day or so.”

Jacob absently nodded, his eyes catching Rachel as she slowly approached with a box of gardening tools. She smiled at him, dipping her head in respect.

“Hello, Brother Jacob!”

He merely gave her a nod before looking back at Faith. His eyes were the lightest blue of the Seed Brothers, standing out even more from dark circles from lack of sleep. Those eyes carried a lot of darkness, a lot of demons and trauma, a lot of regret, sadness, and hate. He hated most of the world, like John did, only not as passionately. A lot of that hatred was directed at himself...and she knew why.

“By the way. The meeting’s been changed to tonight, and at John’s house. Same time. Don’t be late. Oh, and bring the girl.”

Faith groaned, earning her a slight smile from Jacob.

“Aw c’mon, Sis. It’s just a few hours. Honestly, you let him get to you too much.” He clapped her on the shoulder teasingly. 

Maybe he was right.

“Okay. We’ll be there.”

Jacob nodded. “Good. I’ll get my shit and leave then.”

“See you later, Brother Jacob!” Rachel called as he left with some of his men. When he was far enough away, the younger woman turned to Faith. “I don’t think he likes me too much.”

Faith shook her head, smiling. “He likes you just fine. That’s just how he is. Trust me, you would know it if he didn’t like you.”

“Oh, good! I’m excited to be able to come along this time. It’s been a while since I’ve accompanied you! I cannot wait to see the Father and Brother John!”

“You just saw Joseph the other day.”

Rachel flushed. “I-I know. I just...enjoy when he comes and visits me. I’ve been sober and happy here for a long time now, but he always makes sure I’m doing good and have everything I need.”

Faith bit her tongue, her heart sinking. She had once felt what Rachel had felt. And, honestly, she still did. But she knew more now than she did when she was Rachel’s age. She had seen so much more, things that weren’t supposed to be seen, weren’t supposed to be _known_.

_Lana…_

She forced a smile and smacked Rachel’s arm. “We better get you into some better clothes then. And promise me you’ll behave?”

Rachel held up a pinky finger, with a renewed grin. “I promise!”

And then it started raining…

* * *

Their chauffeur arrived at John Seed’s ranch that evening and they got out. Faith scowled as the huge ranch house with its flawless yard and landscaping glowing under the soft hues of exterior lamps. Holland Valley had received the storm first this morning, and the smell of rain still permeated the air and wet flora. She turned and told their driver to wait for them.

Rachel beamed at the house, in awe. “Wow! It’s so big and pretty!”

Faith agreed. It was a nice property. John always had to have the best. Always had to flaunt it, too. “Oh, that’s right. You’ve never been here before, have you? He just had it built last year.”

“But uh...doesn’t the Father preach about modest living? Isn’t this a little...excessive for how we are supposed to live?” Rachel blushed. “I-I mean, just curious.”

Smart little thing. Faith nodded as they walked up the stone pathway to the front double doors, waving to their fellow brothers and sisters guarding the house. “Yes, you are correct. But John can get away with nearly anything.”

Two Project members on each side of the double doors opened a door for them and they entered the house. It was so new and clean and fancy. Rachel was overwhelmed, her eyes scanning across the tall ceilings, the woodwork, the stone fireplace, everything.

The youngest Seed brother was near the fireplace, feeding a fresh fire, wearing one of his typical fancy outfits. The doors opening caused him to turn, and seeing them prompted him to glance at his wristwatch that probably cost more than a car.

“Ahh, dear _Sister_. Impeccable timing! And here I thought you’d still be prettying yourself up for Joseph.”

Faith bit her tongue, took a deep breath. “I don’t need to take two hours to get ready like _some_ people.”

She flinched when he came closer, an impish, almost malicious grin on his face. “Well, perhaps you should try it. You might actually look the part for once.”

What did she do to deserve his hostility all the time? They were close at the beginning. They liked each other...a little too much, actually. But once Joseph decided he wanted her, once John found out, he loathed her. And suddenly it was like they were rivals for the Father’s attention, his approval, as though John had anything to prove. He was blood. He automatically rated higher than her. She was just a replacement of another adopted sister, and who knows how many before her.

Poor Rachel was so uncomfortable with their exchange, standing at Faith’s side, hands clasped in front of her. She didn’t know what to make of their scathing words.

“Uhh, hello Brother John!” she said politely. “You have a very nice and welcoming home!”

Faith appreciated her trying to mediate the situation. John looked at her, a quick one over that was almost indifferent...tolerance.

“Oh, where are my manners?” he feigned embarrassment. “You lovely ladies need a drink. Let me fetch you something. Water with lemon? Alcohol, perhaps? Rachel, are you old enough to drink yet? Oh, but what does that matter, we all know you were drinking far before you were legal!”

“Uhh...”

“Just water, John,” Faith warned.

“I’ll be right back!” John said cheerily.

He disappeared through the double doors by the stairs. Rachel looked up to Faith, confused, a little uncomfortable, biting her lip. “Um, I-I can’t tell if he’s being mean or nice.”

Faith sighed. The stupid girl didn’t even understand how lucky she was. She had the Baptist’s tolerance. His indifference. That was equivalent to winning the lottery in the Project. Of all the Seed brothers, Rachel had been around John the least. So she didn’t know any better.

“He tolerates you.”

“Oh…”

“That’s a good thing...trust me. John doesn’t like anyone that isn’t blood and sometimes even that is questionable.”

Rachel frowned. “Why? Aren’t we all here to love? Accept? Help each other?”

Faith smiled, touching Rachel’s shoulder tenderly. “Yes, we are.” She thought about John and what he had gone through in his life, frowning. “John’s just-”

The double doors opened and out walked her brother with a tray of drinks, walking towards the table on the other side of the fireplace. The Sister was surprised he wasn’t making one of his followers do all the work to serve them, but then again, John wasn’t about to pass up showing off how much of a great host he can be.

“Here we are!”

The women showed up at the table. He poured a glass of water with a lemon slice and handed it to Rachel first. She blushed and took it, smiling gratefully.

Faith scowled. _Don’t fall for his pretty eyes and smile, Rach. It’s a trap…_

“You trust me to pour yours, right Sister? Unless you think I will poison you? I have a pond in the back if you wish to drink out of it instead.”

“We both know poisoning isn’t your style, John.”

John chuckled as he poured her glass and handed it to her. “You’re right. Oh Faith, you seem to know so many of my secrets, so many of my brothers’ secrets. But you hardly share yours. That’s a little greedy, wouldn’t you say? Perhaps I should carve that on you next?”

Faith cringed inwardly, but kept his glare. The carving and tattooing of sins were a new thing the Project had started doing a little over a year now. The Father preached that if people didn’t wear and show their sins, they were only hiding, wallowing in their sins alone, and in order to atone needed to bear them on their flesh. And John, of course, was put in charge of all that. It only started with the baptizing. Now he was doing confessions and atonements through intimidation, manipulation, even torture. Something she didn’t at all agree with and didn’t understand how Joseph didn’t forbid such methods. Then again, he was changing as the years went by, as were his brothers. They were becoming more...fanatical, pushy, colluding, even violent.

Lana was one of the first to see it, first to warn her. Now she was gone.

Faith already had Gluttony and Lust carved on her. Gluttony on one collarbone, Lust on her lower back. Her only two sins so far. She also had a few tattoos on her, another common thing in the Project now. She got them for the Father. Daturas, sparrows, the Project’s symbol. Nothing compared to all the tattoos Joseph had, or John, who had the most out of them all. Both of them had all seven deadly sins carved into them. She wasn’t sure about Jacob; she had only seen a few parts of him under his clothes. He was covered in burn scars, she knew, from the Gulf War. She knew he had Wrath, Pride, and Gluttony.

She knew John wouldn’t hesitate to rip into her flesh once again, mark her with another sin under his steady, forceful hand. But she had no intentions of letting him.

“The Father knows my secrets. That’s all that matters.”

But he truly didn’t. And she could never let him.

The Baptist curled his lip at her, as if her lips mentioning the Father was a sin itself. “If you say so, Faith.” He turned to Rachel, who was sipping her water quietly, a smile that was more forced than anything forming on his lips. “And what about you, young Rachel? You’re still a blank canvas. Just what sins might you carry? It won’t be long before the Father will allow me to help you Atone. But don’t worry, darling. You’re in great hands.” He placed a tattooed hand on her shoulder, his fingernails painted black and squeezing reassuringly.

Rachel smiled apprehensively. “Will it...hurt?”

“Of course it will! But there’s no Atomement without pain, my dear. But you’ll be saved afterwards. You’ll be worthy! And you won’t ever be alone, your fellow brothers and sisters will be with you. The Father will be with you.”

The younger woman nodded, hopeful and encouraged. “I’ll be ready!”

“That’s the spirit,” John chuckled, and Faith hated how he was suddenly looking at her. It wasn’t sexual, wasn’t quite friendly, but devious. As though she was suddenly interesting to him, and catching John Seed’s interest was never, _ever_ a good thing.

Faith slapped his arm off Rachel, not sure why she reacted in such a way other than to protect the younger woman, only a few years younger than her, but very much a sister to her.

John’s glare was fierce, his blue eyes blazing at her. Faith didn’t back down, kept his glare with her own, mentally telling him to back off. But he didn’t. The Baptist grabbed her around her neck, squeezing hard.

The front door opened again. Faith gasped for breath as John’s hands left her neck. Jacob strolled over to them, wiping his hands on his pants. He must’ve felt the tension because he glared at this little brother.

“Why Jacob, dear big brother, look at you, covered in mud and tracking it through my house. You do know you can clean up before you come to our meetings, right?” John snarked.

As if to make a point with what he was sure went down, Jacob stomped his boots and more mud splattered to the clean floors. “Didn’t have the time.”

John decided to grin and bear it. “Drink, brother?”

Jacob clapped the shorter brother on the shoulder, ruffling his perfect hair into a mess. “That’s mighty sweet of you, baby brother. A scotch please. Neat.”

John ground his teeth, trying to fix his hair as he glared at Jacob, disappearing into the kitchen once more.

“You two alright?”

Rachel nodded. Faith touched his arm, smiling gratefully, whispering, “Thank you.”

The Baptist soon returned with a bottle of scotch and two whiskey glasses. He sat them down on the table and poured Jacob and him a glass. The Seed brothers clanged them together and then downed the alcohol.

“You sure you don’t want any, ladies? Rachel, I see you eying it,” John suggested.

Rachel chewed her lip, tempted, but unsure. Faith absolutely refused. It was why Gluttony was on her in the first place. She had once been a heavy alcoholic before she found the Project. She put her hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“She needs to be kept sober, she’s a recovering addict, John. Besides,” she looked to Rachel, catching her questioning eyes. “The Father disapproves of drinking.”

That quickly changed the younger woman’s mind. Resolved, she firmly yet politely declined John’s offer. He shrugged and poured him and Jacob another glass. They didn’t even have time to take another drink before the front door opened again, praises from their fellow Project members echoing inside.

Faith and John tensed. Jacob casually took a swig, savoring the taste of alcohol on his tongue. Rachel couldn’t contain her excitement, smiling that big, pretty smile of hers that Faith always liked.

Just as the Father came around the side of the fireplace, John slid his whiskey glass across the table over to Jacob and pretended he didn’t do anything. Jacob glared at him and smacked him across the head.

Joseph Seed was dressed in his typical attire, dark pants, boots, a white long-sleeved shirt and a vest, hair neatly up in a bun and his beard freshly trimmed. He smiled at them in greeting, his blue eyes scanning through them behind those yellow aviators he liked to wear.

“Good evening, brothers...sister, and my dear Rachel. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.”

“Nah, we were fine. Just all gettin’ along, weren’t we?” Jacob covered.

“Yes, obviously enjoying each other’s company,” John lied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

“Good to see you, Father,” Faith greeted.

He cupped her cheek, a loving smile, one that always melted her insides. “My lovely Faith, I hope you are well?”

She nodded. Joseph turned to Rachel. She stayed as composed as she could, writhing in excitement. He laughed, sensing it himself and opened his arms. Rachel sprung like a rabbit, straight into his arms. Behind them, John watched begrudgingly as Jacob took over John’s glass and gulped it down, staring at John as he did so, like a silent challenge.

“It’s so good to see you, Father.”

“How are you, Rachel?” Joseph asked.

“G-Good. Great, actually! Thank you again for letting Faith watch over me, she’s been such a rock for me! Oh, and I’ve been helping her with many of her duties at your request. I-I think I’m doing alright?”

She gave Faith a hopeful look. The Seed Sister nodded with a reassuring smile, swallowing hard. The poor girl had no clue what she was setting herself up for. Watching Joseph’s hand innocently upon Rachel’s shoulder, but she knew what his hands were capable of.

“She’s doing excellent. I couldn’t manage without her now, honestly. She’s such a great help, and everyone adores her.” It was hard to say, but it was the truth.

The Father beamed softly at Rachel, one soft stroke through her hair. “I knew she would. I had faith in her.”

Faith’s stomach twisted, heart hurting. But, honestly, she hadn’t helped her situation lately. John sneered at her, doubling the blow. He fed off of her distress, especially when it came from Joseph. Maybe he knew her fate. Maybe it was too late for her.

Joseph greeted his brothers the same way he always did, pulling their foreheads together. The Father noticed the scotch and empty glasses and sighed at them.

“Must I repeat myself constantly with you two?”

“Eh, relax, Joe. We were just takin’ the edge off.”

“Jacob coaxed me into it,” John made up. It sounded like something he would say to weasel his way out of punishment, but in this instance, the youngest Seed brother was just making a playful jab at his oldest brother at the cost that Joseph was already disappointed with them.

Jacob grabbed him and put him in a headlock. John cursed and fought against Jacob, but there was no way he could overpower him. The Soldier finally let him go with a small laugh, Joseph shaking his head while John glared daggers at Jacob, trying to fix his clothes and hair.

“Do you ever shower?”

Jacob smelled himself. “I smell fine.”

“No. You most definitely do not.”

Joseph sighed. “Shall we get our discussion under way?” He left them to go sit down on the other side of the fireplace, where the leather sofas were around a bear skin rug and a fancy coffee table and end table set.

They followed him. Faith and Jacob took one couch, Rachel took her own chair, and John and Joseph took another sofa.

The Father cleared his throat. “John, how about you start? How are things in the valley? You’ve sent me paperwork for new properties. Tell me about them.”

Faith inwardly groaned. This was going to take forever. She glanced up at Jacob. He felt her gaze and looked down and pretended to doze off for a moment. She giggled and punched him in the arm.

John took his time telling them of a few properties the Project was thinking about purchasing. Faith swore he loved hearing himself talk. She tried not to lean on Jacob’s arm, but she slowly slouched over time as the Baptist went on and on. Joseph contemplated, him and John doing the most talking, Jacob putting in his two cents once in a while. Rachel, although paying close attention, hardly spoke.

She raised a hand and leaned forward, her soft voice growing a bit bolder. “If I may, Father. The Thacker’s farm is a good property. I know it wasn’t suggested, but it’s been for sale for some time.”

“What? How? There’s nothing but brush and mud there,” John snorted. “Oh yeah, and a barn that’s about to collapse.”

“It’s muddy because there’s an aquifer beneath it. The land hasn’t been kept up so it looks rough. But if you’re wanting to farm, it’s a good spot. It just needs a little TLC. My mom told me when she was a kid it used to be one of the best farms in Hope County. I’m sure with John’s charm, you can get it really cheap.”

The youngest Seed brother squinted his eyes at her, skeptical, not sure if she was being sarcastic or complimenting him. Even Faith wasn’t so sure. Rachel was usually so quiet. But she had good insight. She was from around here, even if she had been ostracized. Faith hadn’t been, coming from Missoula. And the Seeds were newcomers here still.

The Father stroked his chin, studying Rachel. Faith knew the look in his soulful blue eyes, knew exactly how his brain was ticking behind a composed face.

He nodded at John. “Put it on the list.”

John acted like he wanted to protest, but then reluctantly nodded, writing it down on his notepad. Joseph smiled at Rachel, praising her.

“Thank you, Rachel. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion or thoughts. We value your input here.”

Rachel blushed, smiling. “Of course, Father.”

The rest of the evening, when Joseph wasn’t talking to them, his eyes were set on Rachel, rubbing the rosary in his hand, curious, pensive, but worst of all, plotting.

* * *

She spent most of her day at Sacred Skies. And Faith was disappointed that the results she was waiting for on the new Bliss variant tests didn’t come out like she had hoped. So she spent the day running her own tests, trying to make up her recent failures. She needed _something_. What was she missing?

The Sister Seed missed Rachel’s warm smile and encouragement. But she had given the younger woman her own duties back at the Convent. Faith had planned on going back before dark, but now it looked like she was staying the night at the old youth camp.

Luckily, she had her own cabin just off from the main encampment, giving her some privacy. She had a similar setup back at Eden’s Convent. This one had a nice shower. And although they were supposed to minimize their washing habits, she felt that a hot shower was very much needed tonight after the stress of the day.

She hummed to herself in the shower, hymns from the Project, most notably “We Will Rise Again”. It used to be her favorite, but she’d lost faith in the lyrics over time. Still, she sang it anyway, a familiar lullaby of solace she couldn’t go without.

Faith stepped out of the shower with a towel and dried herself before walking over to the mirror and vanity in the bathroom. She looked at herself for a moment. Oddly enough, she could almost claim a stranger was staring back at her. Sighing, she bent down to scrub the towel through her wet hair, and when she came up again, someone else was in the reflection.

She jumped like a startled cat, spinning and facing the Father, backing into the vanity, instantly cornered. Her heart raced. When had he come in? How long had he been here?

Then again, it wasn’t the first time he had snuck into her quarters. She was surprised she wasn’t used to it by now. Then again, their relationship hasn’t really been the best lately.

He was shirtless tonight. That had started becoming a thing lately, although Faith wasn’t exactly sure why. She thought she had overheard John say something about him being open with the sins he carried, but she couldn’t be so sure.

Since she was too alarmed to say anything at the moment, he spoke first. “Still on edge? That isn’t like you, Faith. And yet you still haven’t confided in me what troubles you.”

She collected herself, taking a deep breath, keeping his gaze. It was hard to keep Joseph’s stare when he was digging for something, _hunting_ for something.

“I’m sorry, Joseph. It’s nothing, really. Just stress...from trying to make the Bliss more potent. I know how important it is to you, and I want to make it right.”

If he believed her or not, she wasn’t sure. But his eyes softened and he smiled, reaching up and stroking her cheek. “You put so much on yourself, my dear. Do not fret. We will figure it out.”

“Thank you.”

He leaned into her. Faith’s heart sprang high, trapped between him and the vanity. He didn’t touch her, didn’t kiss her. His long arms reached behind her, and he opened up each cabinet door one by one, keeping her pinned. He was searching for something. And Faith knew _exactly_ what it was.

The Sister kept quiet, waiting until he was satisfied. He pulled back, a soft tug on his lips for her as he took her hands and led her out of the bathroom, into the nearby bedroom.

“You should sanction Rachel to help with the research. Given her past, she has the knowledge and experience in what we need. Her aunt and uncle have raised the daturas, and Rachel knows who could make the Bliss more powerful. She’s eager to help. Let her.”

Faith nodded, conflicted as he kissed her neck. “Why...exactly do you need it more powerful? How is it not enough already? You say you want to help make people see, and it makes them see, makes them hear you. What more could you possibly want from it?”

She was treading on thin ice asking such things, but she didn’t like what Lana had told her, didn’t like what she was seeing herself. So many guns, so many properties. What could a peaceful, religious community need with so many guns, drugs, and property?

If the Father was provoked from her questioning, he didn’t show it. He pulled back from kissing her neck and collarbone, looking her slim, naked form over, strong fingers brushing up and down her arms. He gave her a loving smile, convincing, sincere. She hoped anyway.

“You’re overthinking it. It’s not that much stronger. The Collapse is getting nearer, and I fear that I haven’t reached as many people as I had hoped with our current state of affairs. You’ll see.”

Faith shook her head. “The new variant might be potent enough to kill people if the dosage isn’t right, or turn them comatose in some way.”

Joseph frowned. “We’ll take precautions. We don’t kill people here. We may hurt them, strictly for atonement of course, but we aren’t murderers.”

_Liar._

“Okay,” she mumbled, because the Father believed what he just said was the truth, as if he had forgotten what had happened or if he had thought it was justified somehow and didn’t count. Either way, there was no fighting him on it.

Satisfied with her answer, Joseph kissed her, hands smoothing up and down her naked, freshly showered form, tugging her into him. Faith tried to fight it at first, but soon melted to his advances. As conflicted as she was with her feelings for him, her feelings for the Project, and even her own faith, she always wanted him.

She returned his heated kisses, burning gropes, let him push her backwards onto the bed, let him climb on top of her. She spread her legs for him, only for him. Him filling her was still one of the best feelings in the world to her, the way he was both gentle and aggressive in his thrusts.

Faith held herself back from leaving marks with her nails, her lips, even her teeth. She couldn’t. And he would only mark her where no one else could see. Soon, he came inside her, like he always did. His warm seed filling her always ignited a sense of euphoria within her, but she knew she couldn’t ever let that seed swell, not within her.

And always the gentle, caring lover, the Father got them towels afterwards, got her water. She stayed in bed, using the blankets to cover herself as Joseph got dressed, although it didn’t take him long since he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Make sure you bring Rachel here, bring her into the fold with the Bliss research. I know she will be of great help,” he told her.

“I will,” Faith answered, although deep down she didn’t like it. She just didn’t understand why at the moment.

“It’s a shame her uncle won’t speak to her. Maybe she could convince him to let us use the conservatory. John’s tried _almost_ everything to get him to sell, or even join us. He won’t budge.”

“Rachel told me yesterday that it was going to be willed to her before her uncle cut ties with her and her father, due to their drug and alcohol abuse, I’m sure.”

Joseph looked at her, brows slightly knitting, jaw ticking. Faith knew the look: an intelligent, manipulative brain at work. Anyone else would have seen it as curiosity or sympathy, and he _was_. But also, something of less virtue. She regretted saying anything at all. She should’ve known better.

“Is that so?” he asked innocently. “Well...she’s sober now.”

Faith squeezed the blanket hard in her fingers. “Yeah...she is.”

He bent down and kissed her forehead, quick, chaste, before he was proceeding for the door. “Sleep well, Faith. Remember, we have a sermon tomorrow night.”

“Yes, Father.”

When she was sure he was gone, she plopped backwards onto the bed, groaning in frustration. She rolled and pushed her face into a soft, white pillow, squeezing her eyes hard from incoming tears.

She wanted out of here. She wanted to escape.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello there! This story was something I had brewed up awhile ago, and decided to drop the first chapter to see what everyone thought! I don't plan on it being crazy long, between 10 to 13 chapters at most, but we'll see. xD
> 
> This story covers the fall of the second Faith, before Rachel took her place. As such, this story starts as a Joseph/Selana Faith to Joseph/Rachel Faith eventually, so forewarning there.
> 
> Drop some kudos and comments, let me know what you guys think! :) Stay safe out there everyone!


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